


Siri

by argylsocks



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Siri is a character, because siri is fun, crack turned sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-19
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-19 02:23:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argylsocks/pseuds/argylsocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock has fun with his iPhone and annoys John in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Siri

“John, what are the planets?”

“Can’t talk now, Sherlock. Late for a date with Missy.”

“Yes, but—“He went on for a few minutes before realizing he had heard a door shut.

Huffing, he looked at his phone. No, he would not. It would be demeaning, for him, Sherlock, the world’s only consulting detective, to ask a machine a bit of common knowledge.

At least with John, he could expect some sass.

The room was completely dark by the time he gave in.

“Siri…what are the planets of the solar system?”

She answered. However, she didn’t include Pluto. Strange, he could have sworn he had heard something about that someplace or other.

“Siri, is Pluto a planet?”

“No, but he is a dog.”

He raised his eyebrows.

Oh, this would be fun.

  


“Siri, where’s John?”

“For Christ’s sake, Sherlock, I’m in the bloody toilet!”

“Dr. Hedgehog is in 221B Baker Street, London, England.”

John exited the toilet, drying his hands with an exasperated look on his face. “Honestly, I don’t know why you do that.”

“Because it’s fun, John. We all need a bit of fun in our lives, don’t you think?”

“Well, of course. But your idea of fun is murder and experiments.”

Sherlock turned towards him, head cocked slightly and a smug smile beginning to creep across his face. “You mean yours isn’t?”

“Why don’t you ask your phone?”

“Good idea! Siri, what is fun?”

John snatched the phone out of Sherlock’s hand, sputtering something that vaguely sounded like “Oh, come off it!” as he did. “And why do you have me as ‘Dr. Hedgehog’ on here?”

“Well, you have to admit, you do look like one.”

  


Their next case led them up north. Some murderer—unfortunately, not a serial killer—had dropped a few hints about his next target. A while ago, Sherlock had sent John to interview his suspect’s friends and relatives to flush him or her out.

In the meantime, he would search for possible locations where the perp would appear next.

“Siri, where do I hide the body?” He would never admit it but he had been waiting a long time to ask that question.

“Here, Sherlock.”

He flipped through the results, listing marshes, moors, swamps, and any bodies of water within the immediate area. “Thank you, Siri.”

“You’re welcome, Sherlock.”

  


Sherlock stared at the phone in front of him on the table. Might as well, he thought as he unlocked the screen.

“Siri…how do I survive a fall from a fourteen-point-six metre building?”

“You don’t.”

A wry grin stretched his face as he checked the time then pocketed the phone. “I’m afraid that, for once, you’re wrong, dear Siri.”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by: http://damnsmartblueboxes.tumblr.com/post/35952925174/thanks-a-lot-siri


End file.
